this is how we learn?

REASONS WHY I AM DATING A (RELATIVE) SAINT:

- he claims to adore me
- he does stuff to the effect of statement 1)
- he doesn't hate on me for dissing some of his friends :P
- he was all stoic & shit about C but didn't say anything
- wait, yeah, he did, I just didn't pay enough attention to it and didn't take it seriously enough
- he's STILL apologizing more than I am.
- he spent about an hour yesterday trying to convince his mother that I am not, in fact, a slutpuppy. LAKSJDFLKDSJFLADSJFKASJDF.
- he didn't dump me over the shit that went down last night, and probably won't.
- he's still throwing a thing for me Sunday & having dinner with my lot
- he still claims to adore me.

aldskfjasdkjfsladkfj;sadfj how do I get myself INTO this kind of crap?!

Saturday plans have been changed. A & I are doing a girly night out, C has been instructed to cancel. my grandparents are here to stay, god, they'll meet the Boy. no more library sessions with C, it just causes way too much fuss... sigh.

it would just be easier to NOT have a birthday kthnx.

xx

quick & dirty

- I have a new red dress, same as my yellow number for my formal. it will be a suprise :)

- HP7 = disappointment. I predicted it, but then again, I feel a tad sorry for JK. then, I think of the money she makes and immediately I revert to my sadistic self.

- school doesn't kick quite as hard now.

- Someone is still deliciously clueless, but

- C has found out about his early birthday gift, and is now flittering about in a fuss. still has the gall to complain that I am impossible to buy for. toyed with putting up a wishlist of frivolities, but I figured that a) boys buying me makeup is a bit too personal, 2) it'd apply too much pressure and finally, I'm interested in what he thinks is appropriate. hm.

and for the record, dear...

...this is my little lipstick collection. comparatively teeny. one of these days, I'll probably be hailed as the Imelda of cosmetics, and that would just rock. til then, working for funds to acquire said cosmetics :P

xx

blame it on your favourite past

I like her. I do. Victoria Beckham is bloody amusing. I spent lunch YouTubing the sucker, and I still have a couple of old Spice Girls songs on my iPod.

blast from the past, back in NZ, I rented the movie after it was released. this was a pretty big deal for me - I didn't realize it at the time, but we were pretty tight with money - and the girl next door had seen it at the cinema. I invited her and her brother over to watch it, and oh my god, the havoc. I ended up in tears for one reason or another, and had to clean up. I was, what, 9? obscenely young. jejune, even, thank you Schama.

and plus, I was always Posh when we played :P

got called 'pompous' by my lit teacher today, and asked to redo my paragraph. I'm oddly amused, because I got an A on it anyway. heh :) she's a cranky old bat, but then again, I was a bit insane in my other unmarked piece. we'll see. maths test over with, I lost about ten marks minimum. ouch.

it's my birthday in a couple of weeks. strange sense of excitement, grandparents coming in a week or so. I'm relegated to the study floor, o great injustice! overblown declarations aside, they should be interesting. three months... heh, the Boy might have a hernia or two. I've come to appreciate asian tradition more, don't ask though...

so, yeah, birthday. I'm really pretty happy. don't know what I'm getting - los parentals bought me some Schama, A is giving me funds for my obsession and... I dunno. I'm quite curious about four particularly - the Parentals, part deux; the Boy; C & L, the last just simply wondering if I'd get anything at all. heh.

xx

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Robespierre : Nobody likes armed missionaries :)

the jacarandah room, part trois

vaguely tipsy about the world. H1 came over today, I did her eyes in teals and blues. I've created another fiend, heh :) am trying to sell off some of my makeup collection, it's difficult considering postal rates.

C & I haven't really spoken since his shindig Saturday. that was an, er, interesting night. found out somehow that the Boy has the biggest jealous streak in the southern hemisphere, except when it comes to certain things. I will never understand males, ever. anyway, I ended up participating not in inebriation, but somehow in a) attempting and failing at teaching people RISK, 2) winning Twister (twice) and er, kissing A.

yeah, don't ask.

spent the night at A's, and the following day downing alfredo fettucini and watching terrible horror movies. it was nice to see my girl again, one-on-one... however, my sacrifices this past weekend have been great.

1 (one) scarf, green-and-dark-green
1 (one) brown men's jumper, heather
1 (one) RISK game
1 (one) towel, blue terry
1 (one) item of sanity

xx

narcissus at the water

met the Boy's father yesterday - the biological one. here from the US. a real firecracker of a guy, endlessly cracking unpolitically-correct jokes and I think he'd be quite good to have a decent conversation with if you ever got past the entertaining bit.

it's odd how different the Boy is with him - I mean, I see him relaxed lots of the time, but it's not the same sort - around me, he's more fuzzy and kidlike, but around his father it's like he's relaxed, but totally energised. it's so weird. I can't articulate it any better than that, unfortunately.

his father's a decent guy. they're more like brothers than father & son. don't know what he thinks of me, but I think he doesn't have any negative feelings towards me, at least. fingers crossed that I passed :P

if you'd have asked me a year, eighteen months ago, whether I thought I'd be here, the answer would be a resounding 'no.' knowing me, probably something a little more acerbic. oddly enough, I'm okay. that's probably a cop-out, and in ten years I hope I don't have regrets, but I like not feeling like I *have* to be something amazing. I still *want* to, more than I could say, and I still kinda miss that life.

I'm still trying to figure it all out, really.

xx

hey now, hey now, I know something's got a hold on you...

I gotta say, the MAC C-Shock collection is tempting me - Wondergrass eyeshadow, Overrich lipstick & maybe Lil' Sizzler lipgelee - oh how I want. however, Flashtronic & MAC for McQueen *will* bankrupt me like nothing else. sigh sigh sigh. lets hope that the birthday fairies are kind, heh :)

in other, way important news - I'M GOING TO CROWDED HOUSE! oh, this love affair has gone on far too long without a live show... they are just lovely, really. the new album hasn't quite captured my fancy like some of their other stuff, but I've got a few months to warm up to it!

(four months, to be exact!)

which is scary, because one week after the concert, I have my history exam. I spreadsheeted my makeup a couple of days ago, I've yet to spreadsheet my books - god, I don't know which one would be worse. probably the makeup, but not by much.

songs neil must play or I will be upset:
- better be home soon
- private universe
- into temptation
- fall at your feet
- something so strong

& yeah :D don't dream it's over is a given, I'd hate to imagine the backlash of a show without it... though they're probably all sick to death of it! I'm going with the Boy, whose father arrived yesterday - yes, the very father I'm meeting tomorrow. gulp.

spent yesterday with C, studying and buying looseleaf paper at 1cent per 200 sheets. yes, really. we met his ex, too, in the state library - and there we were, with red (his) & black (mine) pen all over ourselves and bickering about simon schama. he's hosting a RISK night on saturdei, am staying with A. still not sure how he feels towards me since completely being turned off his latest paramour, who by all accounts is very sweet and would be perfect for him.

yeah, who am I kidding, he doesn't still hold a torch for me :P

going to immerse myself in orlando figes now...

xx