you're my candy brandy alexander/ but he was the last high

I was talking to S3 the other day and realised that yeah, I do have a bit of an inappropriate affection for C and that yeah, it could probably amount to something at some point.

*sigh* But he was more than just 'something'.

I'm still somewhat torn about what to do about that, seriously. Realistically, I should just leave him the fuck alone and save us both some iff but I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just sick in the head and need to be bled dry to quit, or I just really fucking miss him. I might just be still attached to the memory of him which is by now, most definitely inaccurate; I kinda dislike myself just thinking about it and I definitely dislike myself for angsting about it.

eff.

I miss you, K. I really do. It's worse not being your friend at all.