I guess I wanna know when these ashes'll blow away

Did some cleaning out today, was kinda brutal on myself. Most of it was chucked, but I kept one box. I figure the stuff in that box is pretty important. Took a look through all of my old journals - I sporadically keep paper journals now, used to love keeping them as a teenager. I was a bit of an airhead, really, but I can laugh at that. There are a couple of things that I can't laugh at - some that I still want to shed a tear over (my god darling, you are so stupid so stupid so stupid it hurts). Irony and serendipity had them a little party together, someone asked about the Regent.

The downfall of an empire, hah. What a ... I don't have the words.

Aside from today's surprising little barb - life has been good to me. Today was strange, a little flashy, an astonishing kind of sadness. I guess there is not much I can really do about that, is there? No, no. Nothing. Work is progressing, currently waiting for my manager to give me a damn call already so I can get some shifts. I do jigsaws again, and line my eyes a lot with flashy colours.

recklessness of water/ they cannot see me naked

I finished yesterday, which hasn't totally sunk in yet, I think. I feel no massive release, no weight lifting, etc. etc. etc. Maybe it's because I'm foregoing a holiday but really - what would I be doing now? I couldn't be on a beach, because not everyone's finished yet, and I couldn't be doing naught but watching daytime television and vegging.

Instead, we plunge into the bookselling/working/wineandchocolatedistribution/moneyfromschoolseeking routine, which is kind of exhausting. I haven't shopped as much as I thought I would've (good) and haven't socialized as much as I thought I would. I did go to DJs preemployment today though, my feet are killing me and there's only going to be more walking tonight. Not looking forward to going out - I'm running on 4.5 hours of sleep, a slice of pizza and 750mls of water. Doubtless I will be plied with alcamahol :P Sigh. We'll see.

I hope it all works out well.



Kind of what I'd like to do? Go nightswimming, somewhere warm, alone. Not the smartest thing in the world, but maybe a lovely one.