Money, money, money

We went to Portland last week, and it was a relief. I think we needed a break.

On the way back, R and I started talking about money. I think it came out of a discussion about a couple friends of his (now married), who had difficulty coming to an agreement about how much money they made, how it was spent and the way it was split. This started turning into a conversation about splitting money in committed relationships, specifically, ours.

It kind of devolved. I found myself telling him that yeah, if we were married, I kind of figured it was all the same pot, except what we came in with. And then immediately, something of a response like "So it'd just be Tough Luck Rob then, would it?". And angry, resentful. He gets like that when he talks about Angi claiming 40% of the house in the divorce.

He pointed out that if he made more than me, and we paid for our separate mortgages out of the same pot, then he'd essentially be contributing to my mortgage more than I contributed to his. And that in the case of divorce, that'd be unfair.

I don't know who's right, but I think it wasn't unfair of Angi to get a part. I wish he wasn't so resentful about it. I think he's channelling shame into resentment, and putting that resentment on me.