leaving on a jetplane

So, C's going-away party was last night/very early this morning. I saw L1 (L2 was nursing his just-broken relationship at some dip's 19th), A&A, J and the Ex.

L1 is a sweetheart, really. At one point, if the stars align and nothing fucks up, she'll get back with L2 and they'll have fuzzy, blonde babies. And I'll maybe be there, fixing up her veil or something. I'd buy them crystal drinking glasses, maybe mid-tall.

A&A were predictably cute, I have a sweet picture.

J was a total mess that I didn't want to deal with, am rather 'shamed about that one. She hasn't called me in ever, though, and rarely texted, but I should have paid her more attention. Sigh. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to stop her drinking - so naive to think that if I let her have 'one last shot' that'd be it. She got back with D, which is possibly the least smartest thing ever.

the Ex was a bit of a wanker. Making out with his best friend (E's) year-long crush, not nice. I felt sorry for E so I did the nice thing and made him projectile vomit into the bushes rather than on C's mum's nice rugs. Gave him a hug and an oddball pep talk - he seems like a nice boy. Seriously. Reminded me a bit of ... me a long while back. Maybe that was why I was so nice. Anyway, we avoided looking at/speaking to each other, though we're both rather big personalities. It worked for the most part, I'm satisfied.

C... god. I didn't think I'd cry. Chalk that up as one other guy in the world that makes me cry, hah. I was in his room - wow, the overload of dirty laundry was astounding - but I saw the stickerphotos we took on his noticeboard :) And, well, I will really, really miss him. He's one of my three favourite people I'd take to a desert island and I can't believe I won't hear him yell at me for eating Lord of the Fries and buying makeup. He promised to be back for my birthday though, sigh. He was making out with a cute Euro girl tonight - O. The feeling I got was so odd - I really don't want him in that way, but it felt weird, 'specially since he was leaving. It's like - I dunno. Everybody's changing. I know that's really cheesy, and as someone said - 'You can never go home again' - but I want to go back.

I'm sounding really maudlin and I think this whole 'all roads lead to K' thing is kind of damaging, but it's better than letting go. I'm sick. Why can't I just let the poor man be?


I dunno. Still a selfish teenager.