This is the email that I'm not sending you. I really hope you were drunk when you sent your email, because the prospect that you might send something like that sober is really upsetting to me. There was a line that was crossed tonight, and that was the "maybe possibly tentatively getting back together in five years if we're both single" line.
To recap a couple of things:
+ You dumped me. Via email. Which I not only avoided bitching you out about, but freakin' followed all your fucking directives about what we could talk about and when.
+ You suggested getting back together. I said not unless we both changed, and that we could maybe talk about it in the summer.
+ I gave you my travel dates something like eight months ago.
+ I need to stay in Australia so I can graduate. I am under a really large amount of pressure regarding this. You would know this if you had just asked why I needed to take that class.
+ It is not my fault that you changed your plane ticket around my dates. Big fucking emphasis on this one. It was your choice. Also, remember + number 3? I gave you my dates ages ago. If you made a mistake with yours after I gave you mine, again, not my fault. Don't abuse me for your choices and errors.
What you sent me was borderline abusive. Emotional blackmail is a really shitty thing to pull. Don't tell me you love me. You left me, and then made it all about you. If you didn't think it through well enough, that's not my fault. You are the first guy I've really tried to be friends with, post-breakup. I was looking forward to seeing you, I was. If I didn't express this in the email I sent you, it's because I don't want to be vulnerable. You hurt me when you left. Yeah, our relationship was basically nonexistent at that point, but it still made me bleed.
I loved you once upon a time. Maybe one day, that guy I fell in love with will look at that email he sent, and regret it. I hope you find someone who gives you everything you need, but it won't be me.
Lisbourne
P.S. Fuck you and the fucking horse you fucking rode in on. Don't expect a reply.
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