met the Boy's father yesterday - the biological one. here from the US. a real firecracker of a guy, endlessly cracking unpolitically-correct jokes and I think he'd be quite good to have a decent conversation with if you ever got past the entertaining bit.
it's odd how different the Boy is with him - I mean, I see him relaxed lots of the time, but it's not the same sort - around me, he's more fuzzy and kidlike, but around his father it's like he's relaxed, but totally energised. it's so weird. I can't articulate it any better than that, unfortunately.
his father's a decent guy. they're more like brothers than father & son. don't know what he thinks of me, but I think he doesn't have any negative feelings towards me, at least. fingers crossed that I passed :P
if you'd have asked me a year, eighteen months ago, whether I thought I'd be here, the answer would be a resounding 'no.' knowing me, probably something a little more acerbic. oddly enough, I'm okay. that's probably a cop-out, and in ten years I hope I don't have regrets, but I like not feeling like I *have* to be something amazing. I still *want* to, more than I could say, and I still kinda miss that life.
I'm still trying to figure it all out, really.
xx
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